


young and dumb, and missed opportunities

by charjace



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 18:52:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17514053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: they were young and dumb, they let the world get between them





	young and dumb, and missed opportunities

they were young and they were dumb kids. trying to get by in a world that looked down upon those who were female. it was hard, they all had to fight harder, for everything. she always strives to be the best, training until she can’t breathe anymore. not stopping until she’s covered in sweat and her bones are sore. she wanted to master it, master it all. to prove to her mother that she wasn’t just going to be a good housewife, but that she can be like all the men in her family, a fighter and a bloody good one at that.

her best friend, bright and bubbly. good with a weapon too, if given the chance - they could have been parabatai. but, they don’t and it’s one of the first missed things she has with her. she admired her friend’s artistic skills, never having the ability to something that creative. the most creative she can get is in the kitchen and that is only because her mother almost forces it upon her.

years of friendship, and her heart likes to wonder. they say shadowhunters only fall in love once - but can someone maybe tell her heart that. she feels a tug for that man who knew just the right words to get her to do his bidding. one for that boy her openly flirts with her, making it known he wants her ( but she knows, he’s the one whose eyes train on her assets as she trains ). then there was one other direction, one that wasn’t as forbidden as one for a downworlder. her heart pulls her towards the fiery redhead that stands by her side. she pushed the feelings aside, going with the flirt, maybe it’ll work out in the long run.

a few years and her world is shaken, she bargains for the life of her son, and her unborn daughter. she pledges her life to the thing she betrayed in blind trust of a madman so that her children can grow up in a world that belonged to them. she lost her best friend, news of her friend’s death shattering her to pieces as she curls up with her son in her arms.

’eighteen years and she’s even more stubborn then ever. so strict about following the rules, following her head - the clave, and never her heart. passion was dangerous, she learnt that the hard way. then, clary - so much resemblance to her old friend, she can barely even look at her. they’re so a like, it hurts having to see clary so she tries to keep her distance.

jocelyn’s body is recovered, hovering in a coma. never alone, always someone at her side - but there was a brief time in which maryse found no one with her, and she walks up to her old friend. hand ghosting over her cheek, thoughts about  **what if**  playing through her mind. a simple ‘i’m sorry’ falling off of her lips, a single tear falling down hear cheek before she hears someone coming. she wipes it away, no one is to know she had been crying. clary walks in, and maryse just gives a small nod of her head.

recovered, and better - but maryse can’t bring herself to face her old friend. not knowing what she would say, or what she  _should_  say. there was a lot that had happened, a lot they need to catch up on. maybe, they could do this. she can’t. not when, this time when news that her best friend has died, and it’s for real. she watched the footage with a heavy heart. watching as her possessed son ripped out the heart of the woman who was the second person to ever hold him. rip the heart out of the woman who would forever hold a piece of her heart.

now she could never fix the brokenness that fell between them, never apologise for all the things she did wrong by her friend. she’ll never be able to make amends to her biggest what if. but, she swears to herself that she’ll try and do her best by clary. help the mini jocelyn into the world that was theirs.


End file.
